I wish it was not like this

I feel naked and used
Put on a pedestal totally bare
The whole world's looking at me.

Their emotions I know so clear
This is a trick I hate
I sense their hatred fear and pity
Longing and distance
Happiness and sorrow

And need to leave me just hanging
I am only one thing in this world
No more no less

I have no purpose I know
And I don't fear that fact
The world wouldn't be different
If I was not here

Few would miss me
And many wouldn't care

I don't love anyone with a passion
or with lust
Not anymore
That was just an illusion
Nothing will change that

I haven't done anything to be remembered
And I don't seek glory and fame

My books will not be published
Their just pages of meaningless things

I cant think of suicide
Because theirs no need for it

But I don't want to live forever
Because eternity is just to much to bare

He was just a boy
That passed threw my life
I was just a girl that bed him some nights

I fell in love
He played a game
I broke it off
And he stayed true to the game

I hit rock bottom
He flew higher

I wait for him to fall
Because its my ditsier

I don't want him back
I just want to be held

I need a lover
not a guy friend

I wore his ring with care and close to my heart
It stayed there for 2 months

and now I look forward
to giving it back to him face to face

I feel lost with out him
But I would be lost even more
If i had been a tool
Anymore