Realization

I thought it was all over
I thought I had said it all
for once i could finally walk
but now I'm back to a crawl

No words can explain
the tears that i shed
No eyes comprehend
the scars that have bled

Not one more tear
shall touch my face
no more hidden scars
that I can not erase

No more liquor
will fall upon my lips
to take away the pain
no more acid trips

Not another cigarette
to eliminate the stress
And all on my own
no one to impress

and i wish i could
do all the things above
not only for myself
but for all the ones i love

Its so pathetic
dependent on all that
dependent on friends
but the mirror says I'm fat

I cant change for anyone
and not because I don't want to
because I've realized thats me
and before I never knew

When i am sad
its tears that are shed
when i am sad
its blood thats then bled

and when i cant control it
its alcohol i drink
and with a couple drugs
the pain begins to shrink

Than for fresh air
hardly i think
a cigarette i light up
knowing my sweater will stink

Knowing the pain will never go away
its hope that i now lose
to close my eyes and pass out here
ashamed that i have no excuse

So as I sleep on the ground
its your pity i borrow
I pass out outside
knowing it'll begin again tomorrow