The Darkness Consumes Me

"Of pretendful happiness"
"pretendful" is not a word, just stick to "pretend."

The format was interesting, and since it was so captivating, the rhyming in your poem didn't really bother me, it seemed to blend in all right. I guess I do feel that the topic can seem a bit stereotypical at times, but this poem does a bit better job than most, especially by using more metaphors and symbolism than most.

It was very interesting that you used the last line of each stanza for the next stanza's first line. That was very creative and it made the poem flow very well. Good job.

This topic, however, is really worn out. I guess I've read too many cutting poems, because i'm getting really bored of reading them but that's not your fault. It's just that there are probably thousands of poems like this all over the sight so it's hard for me to focus on this one without thinking of all the other cutting poems I've read.

I did like it though, and it's definately better than all the other cutting poems I've read.

Keep writing,
Dorotea

as i said before when i saw it at school, i love it. its very beautiful
~Freak~

suxh a great poem,
know exactly how you feel.
i think the way you wrote is was really good... like Robin said.

Love Shell x x x

WHOA WICKED!