I was going through a really hard time in my life,
and my mom didn't seem to care.
Every time I was having a bad day,
it seemed like she was never there.
My friends all had their own problems,
so they didn't have time to help me.
School was getting harder and I tried to concentrate,
but it seemed like my world was crumbling beneath my feet.
I then found a guy who appeared to be sweet,
and didn't act like other guys.
Then one night we were at a party.
We were all having a really good time.
Later I had to go to the bathroom
and as I told him so...
I tried to pull my arm away,
but he wouldn't let me go.
When I finally got away from him,
I sat down and cried.
My friend asked me what the bruise was from,
but I couldn't help but lie.
I didn't want to tell the truth,
that I had been abused.
I lied to almost everyone
just to save him from being accused.
I broke up with him that night.
I just couldn't take anymore.
The next day after my parents left for work
I fell down to the floor.
I didn't see a reason for me to live
so I went to the bathroom and got out some pills.
I started at the small pile in my palm
and soon my eyes were filled.
Filled with tears of memories,
and how I would miss my friends.
I swallowed the pills in one big gulp
hoping my life would come to an end.
Then I felt like throwing up,
and my whole body began to get weak.
I decided to lay down in my bed,
hoping to pass away in my sleep.
I awoke the next morning
with the biggest headache I'ld ever feel.
I knew then I was still alive
because the pain was real.
I remembered what I had done
and knelt beside my bed to pray.
I thanked God for saving my life,
and giving me another day.
After that my life really improved;
it seemed like it was going great.
Then one night I was thinking
back to that one guy that I did date.
All the memories came flooding back,
and I needed someone to tell.
I went to one of my best friends.
She tried to help me back up since I fell.
Her and I got into a fight
and soon everyone in school knew...
that I tried to kill myself,
and I didn't know what to do.
It hurt so bad she did that,
and everyone soon knew what I did.
I tried to hold back my feelings,
but they just couldn't be hid.
Again I found myself thinking...
what is there left to live for?
There's plenty of people in this world.
One less would mean room for one more.
This time I really wanted to succeed
so I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife.
I then went to the bathroom
hoping that this would finally end my life.
As I brought the knife closer and closer
I could feel the blade on my skin.
Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks,
and then I felt the blade dig in.
Blood was running down my arm
and all I wanted was to take it back.
I fell to my knees and prayed to God...
please... a little more slack?
I wrapped up my wrist and went to bed,
praying that I would still live.
I still had so much love in my heart
that I had yet to give.
I awoke the next morning
with a smile across my face.
God had answered my prayers
by letting me stay in this place!
My life has been great from then on
because God sent me an angel in disguise.
I didn't know it then, but I do now
every time I look into her eyes...
That she will protect me from all harm
and keep me in her loving embrace.
She is my angel in disguise
and it shows in her beautiful face.
She is always here for me
through all good times and bad.
Through the times of happiness
and when days are sad.
Now I know that I have someone to turn to
when my heart is broken an I start to cry.
All I have to do is email her
because she is my angel in disguise!
