I have been hiding for 20 long years
Living a life surrounded by fear
Just had a dream that unleashed that old pain
Showering upon me like a hard summer rain
Felt so alone when it happened to me
Things that had happened that never should be
Covered it up as I pushed it away
Tormenting my soul from that faithless day
Rage erupting, bubbling up from within
Scorching my soul as I think about then
Collapsing upon me that bone crushing weight
All of my anger fueled by my hate
Grasping to get back in my hardened shell
Longing to be rid of that cold day of hell
Running to hide from what I now see
Uncovered memories that I am trying to flee
It’s traveling with me, all of my shame
Crying with sorrow for I am to blame
Lost all my innocence because I was to weak
Burying with it the answers I seek
I’ve walked alone ever since then
My life being shaped by that dark hurtful sin
Lost all my loves, Lost all my cares
These are flashbacks of things I can’t bare
Trembling I sit here singing this song
Fighting to recover from that tragic wrong
Pouring out my anguish and all of my dread
For since that day my heart has been dead
I was protecting myself from the past that I lost
Willing to pay every ounce of the cost
But now it is open, now it is free
Breaking my boundaries with humorless glee
Who I am now? Who was I then?
Why was I forced to live with that sin?
Where can I turn to? Who can I face?
How can I deal with this horrid disgrace?
