Carausel of Sadness

I push down the muffin
to just get a little fatter
to gain back what i had lost
i look over the scars
remembering it's purpose
and what each one represented
but in my heart i know
that in a couple of days
that muffin will be non existent
i will be pushing it away
like it is some kind of disease
and my eyes will have some far away look in them
looking at what you can't see
it's a far off place
a speck in the distance
that holds such a great meaning
more scars will appear
oozing fresh blood
then the next day i will be happy
wondering why i was like that
up and down
like some crazy roller coaster
swinging back and forth
from place to place
wondering where I'll end up
i just know that I'll get there somehow