Dear everyone who knew me,
I’m so sorry for hurting anyone but if I had stayed any longer, I would be hurting myself even more. For the people who loved me I’ll always love you and really care for you. I had to do this because I was so sick of crying and cutting. Also,I did this because no-one could be bothered to listen to me. If I was ever upset everyone would tell me I was stupid and would then ignore me. This isn't how you help someone when there upset.
Mum, don’t blame yourself for what I’ve done this isn’t your fault. I know you feel like you weren’t a good mother to me but you were. I had to do this I was in so much pain. I couldn’t live another day of hurt I cried nearly every night because I never wanted to get up for the next morning, to face everything again. Also, the only reason I didn’t try to die sooner was because I was trying to protect you. I don’t want you to have another breakdown. Not over me. You know I caused so much trouble. Now that I’m gone, you should feel relieved that you don’t have the stress of me anymore.
You and dad never stopped arguing. Everyday there was an argument, sometimes over really silly things. I hated the shouting and I tried to hide from the noise but I could never escape. I know you don’t love dad and dad I know you only stay with mum because of me and my sister, but did you both have to make it so obvious that you despised each other.
Dad, I’m sorry to say this but you were never there for me. You were too busy to talk to me. When you had free time and you did talk to me, you never had anything to say. You’d always come home from work and lectured me on things that didn’t matter. They only mattered to you. You never showed me any respect and you never treated me like an adult. Also you weren't there when mum had her breakdowns. She'd be so unpredictable. She had such bad mood swings. I know you didn't think it would affect me but it has because now i've failed all my exams.
*Sarah you're a really good sister and I’ll always love you. No matter what. Please stay strong for me. Even when I’m gone, I’ll still be with you. I promise.
Friends *sigh* well to all my real friends, thanks for caring and thank you so much for having the time to listen to me. I know I must have bored you with my problems and I’m sorry if I did.
To all my other ‘friends’, thank you for not being there when I needed you. I know you had problems but so did I. I was always there to help you why weren’t you there to help me? I guess I learnt that I can’t expect people to help me when i have problems and that some people are so self-absorbed with their own lives to care about anyone elses.
To everyone else at school in my year, I hate you all. Thanks so much for ignoring me and for pretending that I was invisible. I know I’m quiet but I’m still a person. Why did you treat me like shit?
I especially hate the people who pushed me around. You thought it was so funny to see me get upset. You always used to laugh and point whenever I walked past you. You used to make me feel so uncomfortable. The tears that I cried had no effect over you. It was like your hearts were made of stone.
Everyone else, I would finally like to say I’m really sorry for any pain I might have caused and goodbye. I will miss you a lot. I know this will sound weird but please could you forget me when I’m gone. When I was alive, you acted like I weren’t there so don’t change.
Love you always
me
