I wait.....
For the day the man above takes me away.
Not a moment goes by that tears don't fall.
Not an instant passes without disappointment in my mind.
Every day Ivan looks into my eyes thinking I'm happy.
Not knowing he's the only thing keeping me from suicide.
Every night as the stars shine and I lay my head, I remember all the things that have lead me to wanting death.
So many times....
I've grabbed the knife wanting to die hoping to rejoin with my life-long friend who I've missed to the end.
Wondering, "Rachel did it why shouldn't I ?"
I say I'm happy not understanding why I continue to lie.
To:
those few true friends,
My wonderful boyfriend,
and my loving family
thanks, love you all to death!
But I'll do you one better,
"Here's to the day I took my life away!"
* I'm not gonna commit suicide but I've wanted to.
