Those Thoughts Are Haunting ME Again

Those thoughts are haunting me again
I thought I was getting better
But once more it continues to rain
And I’m here surrounded by pain

I’m so alone like I’ve always been
Suffocating on this feelings so within
To continue like this, I don’t think I can
Why stand up after I fall? If I wont ever win

Oh, but those thoughts are haunting me again
They continue lingering strong in my brain
And I’m here crying under the rain
Those thoughts of me jumping in front of a train
Maybe forever my pain will drain

I no longer wanna continue living in vain
As sadness runs through my veins
And my happiness I don’t think I’ll ever regain

Oh hell, those thoughts are still haunting me again
As I walk near the window on floor ten
I remember when
My balance on purpose I didn’t want to maintain
And I said, “I think this is my end.”
Amen

But how the hell did I end up like this?
What part of my life did I miss?
When everything seemed to be nothing but bliss
And now I cease to exist

Those thoughts no longer haunt me
So blindly I see
I wont drink the poison
Or drown myself in the sea

Because to live my life
Is my real suicide
The thought that haunts me
Each day that goes by
Knowing I’m alive, but so dead inside
Dwelling over every single tear I’ve cried
It’s haunting to see, that every part of me has died
And I’m running out of reasons to hold on
For this I have never lied

5/31/2005