I protected Myself

I finally know,
I figured it out,
I don't know what to do,
or if the answer I should shout,
I know why I did this,
and maybe what I did was wrong,
but I lost a friend,
that's why I flee to writing this sort of song,
I thought we would be friends,
until the end of time,
I needed a friend,
a simple friend, is that such a crime?
and who was there?
not my so called best friend (you),
other were,
they cared, they knew,
what I was going threw,
and Dear Friend, an enemy now,
what is my life?
I sometimes wonder how,
I could have ended it all,
but I have an answer,
I know why I did this to you,
I know what I did,
so now I will tell,
of myself I will oneday rid,
and before that share the life I have somehow hid,
I wanted to hurt you,
I wanted that so very bad,
For the simple fact that,
I wanted to hurt you before you could rehurt me,
I protected myself to be free.