Last cut ....

I m on the phone talking to my boyfriend ..
Deep down inside i know its almost time to go .
Hun I have to let you go now
Ok I say but deep down inside I do not want to hang up the phone
do not do anything bad when i hang up Ok Hun be good
i promise i say
oh dear my head is racing ten seconds and*click* the conversation is over
oh I m so bored and depressed ... everyone is sleeping right ? I think in my head ..
Oh I can hear that razor blade calling my name
In my dresser drawer it lays
calling out my name April oh come on it will make you feel better just do it just once
I can not talk anymore
My room is dark
I panic trying to open the drawer to grab the blade .
I got it
I put my arm across my knee wrist facing up
Its shinny the blade
I put it to my wrist
pressing down I slice across
oh what a rush i get it feels good
Again press down slice ya I like it does not hurt
Once more, my inner self says to me
Ok last time
I close my eyes , press down harder than before and SLICE !
oh shit
i can feel the blood rushing out good this time
I can see where my skin separated 3 inch across and 5 inch long
I grab a white shirt on my floor tie it around my arm so tight I can not feel anything well i did not feel anything in the first place but this is just to be safe
*ring ring
its my boyfriend again
oh babe um hi
Hi he said
what are you doing
Um nothing just trying to sleep i say My voice is shaking

I can not hold it in he will find out I have to tell him
baby I just cut myself

Please leave me a comment if you read my poems i would like it very much thanx ~*April~*