Worthless moment

Thought maybe I'd get better,
Maybe I'd be able to be truly happy,
But here I am,
So broken on my bed,
With the silver in clutch,
Who ever thought finding out something so happy,
Would bring me down to this...
Oh,
Here I go,
Silver the skin,
Here it comes,
The essence of my so called life,
I look at it,
And look,
There I go again...
Looking at my thigh,
So unsatisfied,
Do I dare?
Do i dare go the source of my essence?
My wrist?
Press my silver at the side of it,
But no,
I can't...
I can't even do that,
So If i can't even slit my source,
What good am I?

Sorry If I wasted your time when you read this...