it was a sad emotional poem and i enjoyed it....
maybe put part 1 as 1 poem and part 2 as a diff poem and then revise and work on stanzas and rhyming...all in all it was a good poem... i voted 5 on this

I love it! A tradgic love story! Great! I'm a writer and I right novels poems, and songs and so I can relate with what's going on. I've been known to have characters who've done things like this. It's complex like myself and you did a great job

excellently portrayed. hard to criticize this piece....it flows, makes sense, and agrees with rhythm/rhyme.

Wonderful write.

Please comment on some of my work?

Greatly appreciated,
Christa//No Motiv?

i love it! i think its amazing. your a really talented writer. well, take care.

That was a very good poem. GREAT JOB:)

i would tell you i love it, but love is over used. remember suiside is a lasting solution to a temperary problem. your ryhme was placed well in the poem. however i dont think that if i was sitting on my dead boyfriends grave i would be wishing my tears were blood. i would just want to die, and lay next to him. just so you know... but it works.

~Breeze

yea..but the idea is shes pregnant so she cant really just off herself..no, she could, but i would rather she didnt i guess..lol

wow that was really good

WOW. This poem is powerful. it really does show how people misunderstand things. It is really good Kepp up the good work

I normally don't care for love poems to much because they are always about all the good and happy things of it, but this poem shows both sides, very sad yet it is amazing and magnificent, beauitful job

~Love Whitney

Amazing poem, you truly have a talent, excellent work. Check out some of my poems when you have the time.

Best Wishes
Wallace

It was sad amazing i loved the way every word fell in place keep it up man it was good
5/5

Amazing....I found myself crying with the girl in the poem!!! excellent job and I love your style of writing....Please tell me there will be a part 3????? =)

This is a great poem. Part one being my favorite.
'i saw you lip the word love
my heaven became home
with hell up above'
those lines are my favorite. To me they have a lot of meaning behind them.
Overall great write. Keep up the good work.
5/5
*Brittney

That was amazing and you wrote it perfectly..nothing could be added to make it better.. don't write a part three..this was just right

Omg..i swear its da best poem ive read till nw..its rele touching...i hope dis story aint true..daamn great poem..keep it up 5/5

That was so sad i think im gonna cry ill never be quick to judge without confronting again

DAMMMMn!! i loved it!! 5/5! your really talented. check out some of mine if you'd like

Wow! poem like story i get it you almost may me cry keep on writting

I love it but Ive seen it before i think some one put it in a note book or something but great job it is really amazing

volleychica comment on my poems some time

alicia mayle