Suicidal Poem

I found this poem that I wrote a long time ago.. Let me know what you think..

So I actually did it,
Now I am dead,
I got the gun,
And put it to my head.
I pulled the trigger,
Now all I can see is black,
I couldn't stay here anymore,
Courage is what I lacked.
The cuts didn't work,
They didn't end my the pain,
They didn't end my suffering,
Cuz I didn't hit a vein.
Each scar says something different,
Each one tells a tail,
They explain how I was hated,
And how all I did in life was fail.
I wish I was liked,
I wish I was loved,
I wish I wasn't going to hell,
I’d rather be with the angels above.
I had close friends,
Whom I loved with all my heart,
The only bad thing about dying,
Is that we have to be apart.
I want them to understand,
That now I am free,
My only fear is that after I am gone,
They will hate me.
Tell the ones I love,
That I’m sorry that I’ll never be there,
Make sure they know I love them,
And that I have always cared.
Tell Roxana she's the best,
And I'm sorry for letting her down,
Tell her to be famous with her poetry,
Tell her to always smile, and never frown.
Tell Amber to never change,
And that I'm sorry I was a bad friend,
Tell her she meant so much to me,
And I wish our friendship didn't have to end.
Traci- I want to say thank you,
Thank you for everything you did,
Thank you for saying, for one day,
I was like your adopted kid.
It made me feel special,
It even made me cry,
I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this myself,
Before I choose to die.
Tell my parents to be glad,
Cuz they don't have to deal with me,
Maybe one day they will know how much I hurt,
I hope they someday see.
I have letters for everyone,
For after I am gone,
I'm sorry for disappearing,
I'm sorry for not being strong.
This is my final good bye,
This is my final kiss,
I’m sorry I had to leave,
I'm sorry it had to end like this.
*Good-Bye*