As I look around I see so many people.
Then I think to myself, so many people not talking to me.
I'm pretty much out of place.
I shouldn't be here. I'm not good at making things.
I can't make a good conversation, but I can make a fool of myself.
So clumsy. How did I get this way? Who am I now?
Ha, what a stupid question.
I've never known who I was or am.
Here's a good question.
Who's really my friend?
It just seems like everyone's lying to me and trust is a big issue for me lately.
If you can't trust anyone, then what happens?
That's the question. What happens next?
No one knows until it happens.
Sometimes I think about life too much.
I'm so stupid; I thought I had real friends.
But people keep leaving me and I’m left all alone. That's how it feels. It feels like I’m being choked. Dieing from the inside, empty but full of bad feelings. Pain is a useless emotion.
I think life is a pointless journey of pain and suffering with a few near death experiences thrown in for fun. This is the world we live in and we need to deal with these thoughts. I personally have self-taught myself to block things out that I don't want to think about.
This is what it feels like and this is what is on my mind right now.
To be left out, left behind and left alone.
To have people who have lied to your face and spread things behind your back come and tell you they are your friend.
To not know what's going to happen next.
This is one of the worst feelings you could have, but that's just human nature to experience emotion.
We have to live with it and if we choose not to live, Well, maybe that's the answer to all these questions.
