What happens when you dont listen to your heart

I keep calling you
But you won't pick up the phone
I wish you did
Cuz right now, i feel so alone
I'm sitting in my bed
Knowing I'm better off dead
I hold a knife in my hand
But i think of you and I know i can't
My mind says yes
But my heart says no
But i don't listen and cry..
As i watch my life go