Forsaken

I wanna cut deep and drag it down

I wanna rip through my skin

Just keep it going

Just keep it bleeding

Just keep the blade cutting

Just keep the blade running

Just keep the blade dragging

But I can't do it

I can't let the desire free

Cause once I start

I'll never stop

And that's not what I want to be

Enough blood could never be let

To rid my veins of this pain

I could keep bleeding forever

Without it ever being gone

The cutting ceased to give

Any helpful sort of comfort

I carve at my arms

But it makes no difference anymore

The lines draw their paths

Parallel down my forearms

The relief is fleeting

It can't last long enough to satisfy

But I still do, I still try

To find some scrap of relief

To find something that gives me

Even a second of freedom

From this clenching sorrow

Why has even the blade forsaken

After friends and family and God

I thought it was my constant

I thought it was my control

But even it is failing

To give me anything I can use

So keep slicing little blade

Keep laughing and smiling crew

Keep pretending to care mom and dad

Keep sending rainbows God

Because none of it even matters

None of it makes the slightest difference

None of it means relief

None of it means love

None of it gives life

Sleeves come down and hide

What I really am

Smile find your way to my lips

And make my mask

So I can keep faking this

So I can keep pretending

And flesh please start to feel again

Flesh please bleed my tears again

Or just give up

AND FINALLY LET ME DIE