My Mistake (Song of the Stumbler)

I really liked the first two stanzas. the rest was ok. it sounds like a song whic is awesome

This verse made all the difference to this poem:

Oh why, oh why, oh why
Do I, oh I, oh I
Have to go through
This every day?
And why, oh why, oh why
Am I, oh I, oh I
So used to this
Mistake?

It was something very original to my, I think, because hardly any of the poets I read poems by do anything too new and original. They are always way too worried about whether everyone else would enjoy their poem. What if this and what if that, you know? I'm into originality, and as long as the writer likes it, someone out there will too.

Now I am not the artist that you appear to be,so in saying so, help me with this one.

Interesting, yet I like to know how this one came to mind... keep writing.... sometime we have to disregard others comments.. they are not edifying.. I would say if it is a terrible poem give advise.. but be kind in doing so...

I have no advise, no negative comments,it is your poem and your thoughts, just fill me in on who was it that you lost and how it happened... clear it up for me... you are very young to write so deep... you are gifted.....

I really lvoed this one.. complete to me.. i really got no helpful crits,.. but the flow was very good, nice rhyme scheme that didnt seem forced,.. the fourth stanza is, i think, the most interesting. the repetition and rhyme, it really just set the feeling in a unique way, as i read it. the ending seems outta place,.. like the words had built up force before it.. almost like you needa pause for the last line, cuz it just doesnt flow like the previous stanza.. anyway 5/5.. goodjob =O)

great poem good job.