You Wait Here For Me

I look out my window at you tonight...you're waiting there for me. I haven't quite yet figured out why you are standing there, watching my door...
...The words you said to me still sting my eyes with tears, and every time I hear your gait, my focus is lost and I no longer remember what I am doing...

What more do you want from me? You have already taken what you should not have had. I had given you everything...from my love to my body...and all for naught. Every night I lay my head upon my pillow, but never to sleep until these words ring infinitely in my mind..."You have tamed me with a chain of love and a whip of harsh words." Because I loved you...you make me silent in my anguish.

Now here you stand upon my doorstep...waiting for me to answer. You have nothing in your hands for recompense...but still, I begin to grow curious as to what you might say that would have a little more than a smidgeon of importance to my heart.

So carefully, I dry my eyes and advance to the foreboding door. I turn the creaking knob and swing the panel open until I see your lowered eyes.
"What have you for me to bribe me back into existence?"
I whisper to reddened ears.

"Never to bribe you anymore...my...never-mind. I shouldn't be here...not like this."
His voice is hardly audible in the calm collected silence of the full moon's night.

So I just stood there looking at him. He never looked me in the eye. Finally, he tried to say something and looked into my eyes with a glazed red stare. What I saw in his spirit was not there...he was broken and drifting away from me. He wanted to say something to me, but words would not fill the void inbetween us.
Finally, he said,

"All I have to say for recompense is this...I hope that you will find a guy more nurturing and more loving than your God. I hope that when I go to meet your God tonight...that he may come to love me as you love Him. I am sorry that I hit you for loving him more than me...but now I see that I could never be as good for you as He is. So with this final wish from my broken heart...I will bid you farewell on this earth. I will miss you where I am going...I know I will never see you again. And since your God loves you, you will not see me, either. Goodbye."

And then he just turned around and walked away. I didn't do a thing to help him in his sorrow, even though my heart had barely started to mend itself. I still loved him, I knew...but I did nothing.

So the next day, after I had slept without repeating those words in my mind...I heard the news that a man had slit his wrists in front of the church where I attended...
...that young man was my love.