My wrist - 27/03/2005

Why did I do it?
Why do I feel this way?
Why does it have to be like this?
Why do scars stay but the pain goes.

There are marks on my arm by self-harm,
Something that I stopped but I started it again,
I started it again at the worst time,
A time while I have a special guy that I love.

This guy is special but why do I cut?
Why do I do this to my self,
I feel like I betray him,
Over and over again.

There are blood stained tissues around me,
I shall cry feeling betrayal,
I shall change my image,
I feel darkness, darkness in my music my nails my clothes my hair my skin and in my self.

I don't care what people say about my arms,
but I can't tell my mum nor my dad,
I wonder why I self-harm,
I wonder how I stand the pain of a blade against my wrist.

From my wrist I go down,
I cut down toward my elbow,
Hoping I die soon,
Praying that some one tell Paul I love him.

©Elisha L. Brain. 2005