My daily struggle

Screaming at the top of my lungs
i can feel my throat go dry
oh why oh why did i insist to fry
on that definite gag into the reality
decision made out of lust
weeping cause the old times came back to sit on my stoop
my ideals crazy into thoughts unpleasant
crying the tears that will kill me soon
laughing in deaths face to spit on his door mat
dragging the mud that sticks to me in such a way
adding the weight of tomorrows wrong doing
crashing my car into a wall doing 100
waking up to realize they we're all dead
stroking their hair and burning a stoge
coping with todays s**t just to be drawn into the lies that will come
healing and having the wound sliced open with a dull rusty blade
scaring my inside with worry and dismay
beating myself up at the thought of loss
wanting to last until our last sunset
but only hoping it wont be our first
like a bus ramming its yellow name deep into the heart that i thought i had
empty from the frill made so glorious by the wand of lust
burning smiles into the youth of today
frowning as they walk away
into unknown territories washed in red
sorrow peaks its head from the shelter of love
speaks in the tongue only lovers can conceive
flirting with the disasters rage stored deep in my soul
children flee and men weep when power comes from the deep
yawning when the talent flows out of my mind
only to realize the crap that people hate is what they find
writing is dead to the world
and i hate ever one of the greedy schm*ck c**k suckers
meat implanted into the fat that once was human
enhancing our body so that walking down the street isn't horrifying
well gaining the respect is hard, you only need to try
flirting with death around every bend afraid to walk out the door for fear a plane may dismember your soul
grinning death in the face and telling him nothing
asking the wrong question when life's at its worst
killing myself little by little every day
finding my truth to life
the one thing