by Lyla Jun 6, 2005
category :
Friendship, family /
family
I used to lie in bed at night |
by Lil Luce
i enjoyed this one but again i think it would benefit from more imagery...i liked the line...I saw my dad cry a bucket of tears....this is the sort of thing im trying to aim at.....also the rhyming seemed a little forced...as in u was tryin to make it rhyme so it didnt flow as well as it perhaps could have. hope u dont mind me being constructive?! take care and please return the favour |
by jencam
awww...that poem was really touching.... very well written... |
by Naima
Amazing. It doesn't seem like a friendship poem though. It's reallly good. I like the rhymes and the whole flow. I love the story that you portrayed. I myself deal with my parents fighting at least once and day. There have been threats and everything! It's crazy but thank you!!! I hope things get better. |
this poem was sad and well detailed. thanks for commenting on my poem. i appriciate it. |
by EoB
I didn't really like this one...The rhymes seemed too forced, and there were too many cliches for my liking... |