Nightmares

Nightmares
every night
tossing and turning
fading
into darkness
****
a knife
is all i see
the white-hot glint
of a silver blade
the feel
of sharpness by my throat
of smelly breath
down my neck
whispers
laughs
grins and glares
blood
****
nightmares
****
backed up
against a wall
hands flat
on the bricks
a gun to my temple
a hand
beckoning
my virginity away
terror and hatred
boiling my blood
sweat
****
nightmares
****
walking
here and there
among the pointing
and laughing
through the wall
of spitballs
and paper wads
the insecurity
taking over
tears
****
nightmares
****
waking up
cold sweat dripping
screaming
bloody murder
but of course
i can never
really
wake up
from this
nightmare