Death's Doorstep

People constantly saying
you're smarter than this
but what if I'm not
what if this is it?
People telling me
you can be better
but what if I can't
what if this is as good as it gets?
People say to stick with my morals
that I can overcome anything
but what if I don't
what will happen to me then?
What if I can't be the person everyone wants me to be?
Is life worth living for?
Do I deserve the things I have?
My family, my friends.
No.
I don't.
Do I deserve all the crap in my life?
Every last bit of it.
Should I tell people how I feel?
Or let it go unspoken?
Does it really matter how I feel?
If I was gone tomorrow would anyone care?
Do I really matter?
No.
I don't.