by silhouette fairy Jun 8, 2005
category :
Sadness, depression /
about death
Silent one, why don't you speak? |
by Ariana
Wow, this is really dark and morbid! Your poems have such a range of ideas in them. In this poem I liked the switch in characters (who is speaking) I try to do this also but find it hard to keep it sounding poetic. It sounds incredibly sad and resigned, as if you have given up all hope. I'd suggest tweaking the rhyming a bit and adding in some punctuation to make it read better. |
by SuperJenius
I LOVeD it it was WicKed TransCEndenT |
thank you for commenting Silver Wolf. i'm glad you comment because not too many people do |
by Fig
oooh. its dark!!! i like it. quite different to alot of your others |
they're lazy i think that's the only reason |