Friend To The End

I quickly read Darien's comment so I wouldn't repeat anything heehee.

1st Verse:
Just what Dairen said, you've instead of you have and lose instead of loose.

2nd Verse:
"Wondering how in life we chose this path."
The "in life" seems a bit awkward perhaps just take it out? "Wondering how we chose this path"

3rd Verse:
Simply what Darien said

4th Verse:
"Until we grew old I thought we would always wake to see the light of another day"
This seems a bit long perhaps shorten to something like "I always thought we would wake to see the light of a new day"

5th verse:
"But I try to keep in good spirits because you would have wanted me to."
Perhaps remove the "But" and "because", i think it would flow better, so it reads "I try to keep in good spirit, you would have wanted me to"

"Rest in peace, as your spirit will always be remembered"
Use "soul" instead of "spirit" because you've just used that word in the line before ;) Keeps away repepition.

This was such a wonderful poem Laura, so sad but still filled with hope. A great tribute to a great friend. I'm glad to have read this! I'm not the best critquer nor the best poet, but as long as you love your poem then its perfect. Only the poet knows what truly needs to be changed, mine is nothing but a suggestion ^_^ Wonderful write Laura!

1st Verse:
"Life has changed so much since you have been gone,"
[It would flow better it you wrote 'you've' and take out the have]

"To loose a friend so close and dear,"
[I think you meant 'lose', signfying a lost. Not being loose like a goose :P]

2nd Verse:
"When I had to say goodbye I couldn’t stop the tears."
[It seemed too long, try "When I said goodbye, I couldn't stop the tears"]

Verse 3:
"There was no question I knew you had always been there for me."
[Take out 'I knew']

"In my life, the day our friendship began was a significant event,"
[Take out 'In my life']

"Your moral support was clearly always present."
[That sentence seemed awkward throwing in 'always']

4th verse: Great!

5th Verse:
"But I try to keep in good spirits because you would have wanted me to."
[ - "But" and - 's' in spirits.]

Wow, that was a great poem! Such a great dedication. It is as if you let me into your life, and experience all the things you did with your friend. The ups and downs, the happy and sad. That was a really good poem, and I tried my best to give it a proper 'Power Critique'. I'm not the best poet in the world, or the best as editting poetry. So all the suggestions I have made, were only things 'I' found wrong with the poem, and it obvious I know very little about poetry! But I'm just trying to help. So again, great write Laura!

Laura,

This is a very heartfelt tribute to your friend. Thank you for you kind comments on my write.

Best regards,

Steve

That was really good!!!! great poem!!!!!
~Lotta luv~
~Britty~

Hey Laura it's yourboi... kobi. i have to say this is one of ma favorite poemz by you. good job, keep it up and keep send us great poems like this one. yourfriend was luck to have your friendship. just like =Eirisa= said, your friend would be smilin' from above with pride...

Peace...