So sad all the time

I feel so sad all of the time
In random situations I break down and cry
All this split can bring is pain and hurt
Breaking peoples hearts and rubbing them in the dirt
I don't want to go home
When I'm there I feel so alone
I hate the way everything I say has such meaning
All my words, such pressure, so many feelings
And living with one parent I think its going to get worse
I hate guarding my expression, I hate watching my words
But I don't want to see them hurt
I wish I could escape RIGHT NOW
Suicide, or running away, but I don't think I could be such a selsish cow
I want to fast forward away from this place
Or rewind to the time when there wasn't pain aching in my face
I want it to be different from the way it is today
But the horrible thing is I know this way is here to stay