So alone

I've made so many mistakes,
but i'm making one right now,
my mistake is living
and yet i'm living now.
to me it seems so easy,
to take out that blade
and take my life so quickly,
to forget the friends i made.
but is that what i want?,
do i want to live in pain,
and wait for the morning,
where i see those two again.
why give them the chance
to bring me down once more,
just leave me here in the dark
and never open the door.
these tears drip so slowly, like the drops from my arm,
remembering when they told me,
that i dont have to self harm.
But they will never know,
what made me hurt myself,
and they will never give me,
any support or help.