What I Want

Please don’t hold my hand
Please let go.
I know you care,
But it’s time for me to go.

I want to walk home
By myself in the pouring rain.
I want the tears that fall from my face
To sting my cheeks and hit the ground
In pain.

As I walk home I want to scream.
Scream for all the times in life I fell
And couldn’t get back up.
For all the times no one understood.
And all the times I felt like pain
Was taking over and all I could do
Was watch and know I was a failure.

I want to open the door to my house
And know that no one is home.
I want to know that my life is in my hands
And my hands only.

Soaking wet, I want to open my bedroom door.
I want to grab my blood stained scissors and cut deep.
Cut so deep I can see the bone.
See the bones that hold my body together.
I want to take my life, take it out of this world.
I just want to leave, give up, and give up now.

But I can’t because you are here.
You are watching my every move.
And you care to much to let me go.
You’re holding my hand as I scream in pain.
You’re the only one holding my life together
As I watch it crumble right beneath my feet.

I can’t throw my life away because I have
One person, and only one, you.
And you are the one that won’t let me go
And who is helping me make it through.