Torn pages from a journal,
And Tears lie on the floor,
It seems that all my life that god has given more and more,
More as in pain that doesn't go away,
Pain as in shame,
That makes me feel a bad way,
A puddle of memories lost I'm my cries,
Pages of days taken out of my live,
Day after day,
I went to school,
Get torched and beaten up,
And made look like a fool,
Day after day,
I would come home,
To either be hit by a dad or wish to be safe and alone,
Scared half to death,
But not wanting to live,
Trying not to cry but living in a fib,
Living a li,
A book case blocking the door,
To my empty bed room,
And my father slams hard,
As he tries to get in,
Lying on sheets that are stone cold,
Trying to sleep,
But cannot be bold,
Get up from my bed,
And try to use my head,
Have to get out of here,
And do it fast,
What way can i get to a better place at last,
dying to see a better life for me,
Trying to see if theres a possibility,
Locked in a closet,
And under a stool,
Is a suitcase For me,
And in there is a tool,
Open the case,
And rapped up inside,
Is a knife,
That will bring me somewhere to hide for the night,
Roll up the sleeve and look at the scars,
Then look out the window to see the stars,
"God if your watching watch me do this, i don't believe your out there or you would have saved me from his fist, God if your watching take him to hell god if your watching I'm under a spell a spell thats too deep for you to understand, but god please help me thats my only demand"
A cut of a wrist,
And the blood on my arm,
Leave me with memories,
That could only cause harm,
So what to do next,
What should i do,
I can't think of many ideas,
only a few,
I came to a logical,
And easy way out,
I'll try to cut,
My heart out,
So i take the knife and reach for my heart,
But i deserve worse,
Than the bleeding of a heart,
My heart was good,
And not as black as my dad's,
I'll keep my heart,
And this made me glad,
But i still need a home,
And some where to go,
I need a place,
And something to show,
All of these years,
I could not breathe,
all of these years,
Led me too see,
That the only way to end this,
Was to fall to my knees,
Cut my throat open,
and say to god please,
Give me the life,
The life i want,
And not the one,
That my eye sees.
