woah, definitely in the right category. So much anger expressed. I'm not sure if this was a free verse or had a different rhyme scheme, it was hard to tell. But you told the story well. Nice job. 5/5.

~rolo

nice work, like rolo said it was very expressive. keep it up xxxxx

This piece was certainly full of emotion and description, but as rolo mentioned I am unsure of the style/form that this poem was written in. Still it worked well overall.

Keep Writing
Nici

A few minor corrections to be made but its still a brilliant poem.

Keep on writing and allways believe -Erin

Hmm. This poem didn't really get my whole attention. Maybe it was because of the awkward flow or maybe 'cause some of the wording doesn't fit the purpose...I don't know. But this one definitly needs more work. One thing I liked about it though, and that's that it ended well. I liked the last stanza. Keep writing,
Dorotea

ok i am going to work on this one alot i kinda was really weird writing it i will fix it as much as i can thanks

too sad but beautiful. You express your feeling wonderfully talented poem.
keep it up. love you, Marjan

Wow..this was nicely written! you kept it flowing very well! i enjoyed this!! 5/5! keep it up!

very good, but i kind of agree with dorotea...i couldn't really get into the poem...keep writing tho!

I really like this one, there's something about it....but for clean up. This line "the night was soon to fill of hurt" Perhaps a "with" instead of an "of" would fit a bit better. "and all for the lost of a love one" Maybe "loss" in this line. "or should i say it was more the betray" Might add an "al" on the end for flow purposes. That's most of the slightly bigger stuff, as for the rest...just capitalization and a little line formatting. Make it look all nice and neat and it'll be just about perfect.

wow, I really liked this one.
I think it's very good.
much love,
marjan

Alright, once again the rhyme scheme needs to be constant or not there at all, fixing this will greatly improve the flow of the poem. Also I don't think that this line makes sense "all he wanted was someone to care
and he thought was you were gone" I have no idea what that was ment to say. Keep writing.

Wow, You write with such good emotion! Like a few people have said the scheme should be a little more together but otherwise Good Job, Keep writting!

I did the rhyme different to catch people and not be the same as everyone else i was bored of the same type of rhymeing stuff so...yeah have a good day all

Yea it was good but the rhyming thing you say you were trying not to be like anyone else but yea sorry to bust your bubble but i read a few poems from other people that were like that but whatever floats your goat i liked it anyways.

Great poem i like it alot
very deep which is
awesome
great job and
keep it up ok
love always
tabby

Wow. i like this poem i enjoyed reading, keep up the good work.

Emma 5/5

I think that you could have added a little more tword the end, but besides that it was good. I really liked this one too. *5/5*