My baby angel

My fingers grasp his little hand
his eyes lock upon mine
I bat my eyes to hid the tears
that will come any time..

I think about the future
that he will never see
the times that i could spend with him
the ones that will never be..

I think about his nursery
that took so long to perfect
about the dancing lions
and the crib in which he would have slept..

I think about his car seat
strapped in and ready to go
how i took all those classes
to remember to go real slow..

I think about the swing set
on which he'll never play
it took me so long to put it together
and thats how it will stay

I wonder if he would have
liked soccer or basketball
or if he would have even been
a sports player at all..

Would he have raced his dirt bikes
through the trail in the backyard
would school have come to him easily
or would he have had to try hard..

would he have known i loved him
will he know that when he goes?
i count his tiny fingers
and kiss his tiny toes..

The doctors take the tube out
tell me to say my goodbyes
as i look once more..
into my infants eyes..

does he know he has a mommy
who hell never get to know
or a daddy fighting in the war
thats why he couldn't show?

will he ever feel a happiness
will he ever have a chance
to watch us from up above
and see the lions dance?

I tell him that i love him
and ill never let him go
as i watch my baby fall away
from a world he'll never know..

I know he'll be my angel
and fill my heart with joy..
Konner, mommy loves you
Goodbye my baby boy.