Dad ?

What do you expect me to do ?
you want me to call you dad ?
You were not there for my birth
you were not there when I had my first day of school to walk me up those steps .

When I learned to ride a bike ,
falling down and hurting my knee daddy was not there
I wish there was a man in my life as I grew up
but no you ran
when men learned mommy had a daughter
used goods they would say and walk away

You expect me to miss a father I never met ?
I dreamed of what you looked like and what it would of been like
If you were there dad
I was to little to understand that not every kid had no dad

My first day of school I held moms hand .
I wondered who where these men walking kids to school.
mommy said they were real men .

Not like you ... Weak and do pitiful
How do you expect me to call you dad ?!
I do not even know you .. you have no idea who I'am
Did you not ever wonder how your little girl was ?
Or did you forget!?, it takes two, to make a baby but one can raise it
Its amazing how my mother did it alone
all four kids at home
but Now that I m old enough you show up at my door
A strange old man with his clothing all torn smell of alcohol on his breath
My dad .. but thats not what I should all you coward maybe
a grown man who could not face his fear
Young and reckless having your fun made me my mothers shining star
I thank you very much
Not for leaving but for letting me go .

Years later how you just decided so show up at my door and expect me to call you dad .
Are you crazy have you lost your mind ?!
I am fine, let me be, go home ,
I'm a big girl now and I choice to be the girl without a father the one who let me be
the father I never had all I wanted to be was daddies little girl