Only In My Dreams

I look up into the jet-black sky,
Tears running down my cheeks as I wonder why,
Why has it come to this last forbidden option, why?
As I walk through the erie silence and the unexplained dark,
I finally see a gleaming mark,
I run toward it with hope; my heart enlightened,
But then I reach it,
There it is...
A long, sharp, gleaming blade,
I pick it up with curiosity and realize that this is my last option,
My last option for hope, happiness, and relief from this crazy game called life,
I pick up the blade and press the cold steel against my wrist,
clenching my teeth as I wait for what comes next...
I drop the blade as I see the first stream of blood,
The rich red color is almost comforting,
I'm starting to feel faint now,
This is a bad sign,
I hear your soothing voice trying to pull me through,
But it's just in my head because I know that you never cared,
If you did; you would have respected the love we so deeply shared,
And now as I drift off into this deep slumber I try to picture your angelic face for on last time,
And then comes the relief I've been waiting for,
Unfortunately this relief comes from my very own death.
Yes it is sad yet very calming and now I smile in my wake,
And now I'm in a place where no one can reach me,
A place where YOU can't hurt me,
A place that s scary, but comforting,
This place is in my dreams...

Foot Note:
I've tried suicide before, but I couldn't do it so I can only think of doing it in my dreams...