True Friends

I used to sit here and wonder
what life was really about
most days I didn't know
I had to many doubts
people used to tell me to live
to make it another day
but I hated living like this
I just wanted my problems to go away
I had picked up the razor before
and let the scars talk for me
I didn't want people close
I wanted them to let me be
I would push people away
but still they came around
they would find me broken
passed out on the ground
I woke up so many times
laying in a hospital bed
my tear stained face
and my arms painted red
I had been to every doctor
but still it didn't help
I didn't accept anyone
I didn't even accept myself
cutting was my pass time
that and crying my lonely tears
I couldn't be changed
I'd been like this for years
I had talked to people
but they didn't understand
so I just gave up
I turned away that helping hand
some certain people never gave up
they're mission was to make me smile
to once again be happy
and feel like I'm worthwhile
at first their mission failed
I thought I could never mend
I didn't want to start over
I just wanted want to have my end
there was no hope for me
at first I didn't see why they even tried
for so many years, I pushed them away
and to them I had lied
I said I stopped cutting
but I had told them that before
and yet the still picked me up
when I was unsubstantial on the floor
I couldn't understand
how it was they still had hope
I thought I'd never get over
how it was I learned to cope
I couldn't be helped
after all they were the ones that were crazy
I wanted to show them
that the crazy one was not me
I thought they were being nice
I thought I could help them instead
but yet I was the one
with crazy thoughts in her head
after all that they still stuck around
but I couldn't figure out why
they were always there
when I was cutting, and when I would cry
I thought life couldn't get better
but they told me it would in time
I would just ignore them
I thought they were out of their minds
yet their mission continued
and I still tried to help
but they asked how I could do that
if I couldn't even help myself
I told them I was strong
that I could survive
and though I told them this
I knew it was all a lie
I swore I didn't need help
that I could still fight
yet I only had scars
and countless sleepless nights
they told me I could count on them
but I didn't think it was true
I told them I was fine
that I could make it through
in the end they were my true friends
and now the thoughts are out of my head
as hard as I tried to help them
they ended up helping me instead...