The Road

I'm walking down this road,
Where happiness does not exist,
A path that's filled with sadness and lost hope,
Only pain persists

The reflection I see disgusts me,
It's twisted and unreal,
I wish that it would go away,
And leave me here to heal

I hate the thing that I've become,
The evil that everyone despises,
I wish that I could be the person I was,
And throw away all of the disguises

I don't know how it happened,
I don't know when and where,
All I know is that I have lost respect,
But that is only fair

I wish that I could re-find everything I threw away,
Build up all of the lost trust,
Forget about this whole damn mess,
And fix what is unjust

I know that I am the only one who can change me,
But I just don't know where to start,
I've completely screwed up everything,
And it feels like my life has fallen apart

I want to change and be the old me,
But I dont know which road to take,
For I have been on this desolate path for a while now,
And I'm confused on what decisions to make

All I want is for people to recognize,
This person is not me,
It feels as if I have a demon inside,
And that is all you can see

I've become confused and lost,
As I try to make sense of this all,
I know that I have to take the first step,
But what happens if I fall?

I have pushed away the people I need,
The people who were always be my side,
The people who brought out the best in me,
And I just placed them aside

I don't know if I can return,
To the life I used to live in,
For I have hurt so many including myself,
Time and time again

I want to be forgiven,
But I'm no longer sure if I will be,
For I cannot even forgive myself,
And no one can change my life but me

So as I walk down this deserted road,
I try to find myself and be optimistic,
For if I want to change,
I just cannot stand here and be unrealistic.