Inner Thoughts [1] {12/19/04}

I'm tired of this life i live,
Why can't i get out here?
I regret all the things i did-
But no one sees what i mean-
I'm always wrong.
Why the hell do you put up with me,
How the hell do you do it?
I couldn't ever put up with anything like this.

Now they're gonna get in my face,
I have nowhere to hide;
I can't get out of this place,
I don't wanna commit suicide;
I can't ever take back the time to undo the things i did;
They want me to explain,
But they don't wanna hear one bit.

Now i'm locked in my own little world,
Peace with insanity,
In my hands, my mind i hold,
Filling it up with things not so pretty.
Everything i do is wrong,
I don't do right all the time.
I know this is the same sad song,
But it's the only thing in this wretched life of mine.
Where can i go to be right for once?
Where can i go where everything i do is fun?
What do i do to make everybody happy?
What do i do so i can stop being me?

Should i even be here in this lifetime?
Should i have all these people love me?
Should i have left alone those-all who are above me?
But then who is left that to me they would accompany,
Who is at the level of my misery in being?
Who would still wanna see me?
Who thinks that of using their time i'm worthy?
Whoever does think this must be insane,
Or they just haven't seen or put up with the stuff i do in just one day.