Fade

I tried to make things fade
I tried to make things go away
It all just made me so afraid
Where did things go astray?

It started out as a good night
Everything seemed to be going well
It wasn't great but it was alright
Then everything went to hell

I couldn't take the story you told
I can't describe how I felt
I started to feel ever so cold
And that's when I picked up my belt

My belt was too thick to do that much
It couldn't dig in enough to my throat
I still held reality in my clutch
It wasn't doing enough to make me float

That's when I saw my dog collar
It would dig in better than the other
And it wouldn't let my throat holler
It would be as kind as a brother

I wrapped it around my neck real tight
I did it all so quickly
I didn't want to do it right
And that's what made me feel so sickly

I tightened it more and more
Then I realized I couldn't see my reflection
And I started to fall to the floor
So I loosened the collar just to stop that infection

I fell with such force but couldn't make a sound
My neck was screaming as I gasped for air
It took so much to get up from the ground
All of it was just too much to bear

Now all I can say is I'm sorry once more
I wanted things to go away and I wanted things to fade
I'll try to stop, I won't do it anymore
I can't say what's worse, this or the blade