Random thoughts *entry in my journal*

This is what I wrote after my mom and my friends told me how strong I was, I dont believe I am strong. I'm wasting away but heres what I wrote. I just had to get it out*
i hate when you people say i'm doing better because i havent cut since me and him broke up. you even say i'm strong. well i'm not, i'm just the opposite. i'm soo weak. the only reason i havent cut is because i dont want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he's hurting me. so instead i cry, i cry so much. but i guess i'm being strong right? crying instead of going out, crying instead of doing anything with my life, when one cut, one small cut could make everything disapear if only just for a moment.