Sometimes I wonder
Why I still live?
I try to ponder
What it be like to die.
I want to know why I still live,
Within this god forsaken world
That holds nothing more
Than sweet dieing memories
Of what I used to be.
This life means nothing to me
And not to those I live with
For I am no better
Than a slave in the Civil War.
I live to only serve my master;
This happens to be my mother
And my father
And my siblings.
No one cares if I live or die
Just as long as I don’t make a peep
And the floor will not be stained
With my unholy tainted blood.
I wonder why I just don’t reach
For that beautiful glimmering knife
That sits in the holder on the counter in the kitchen
Collecting that disgusting dust.
I don’t see how they could love
Such a mental creature such as myself, anyways.
I long for love
Yet, despise the loving.
I can not stand
The happiness that floats around the world
But misses the one who needs it the most.
This is how I feel
Most of the time out of the day.
Worthless and undeserving;
Witless and helpless,
Nothing more or nothing less,
This is how I feel
In this meaningless life.
