My imperfection

*this poem isnt perfect, but its what i felt and thought at the moment i was writting.

its about love from others, lack of love for myself and a person i desire to be allowed to love

i know it needs work, i know it doesnt flow brilliantly.. its rather mixed and unclear n confusing.. but its fr the heart*

I wish I was more
I wish I were as they say they see,
I wish I was really who they adore.

The person they talk of
How can that be me?

The girl who’s loving and giving
A perfect picture of altered perception.

The real me hides afraid to be seen,
I have been where no one should be.

my reflection in the mirror
I sob, still
I sob silent
I see my horror

How can what they see be inside of me?

The person they talk of is perfect

My throat aches with tears and moans
They do not hear the bad thoughts that haunt

They see more in me than I could possibly be

They love me for what they see,
But I loath myself for what I simply can not be.

They adore a person that my mirror does not show me

A shinning light they say,
Does not reflect my way.

How can I possibly be so much to them,
And so little to me.

I do not have the courage,
To bring up this rage.
It sits in my gut

My body is a wreck
Is this as good as it’s gonna get?

Hatred miss-aimed returns to inside
Hurting myself in my chest

My heart cry’s see through
As he walks into the room
he will be leaving very soon

keeping my distance from him,
better not to know what he’d see
how we could be…

fear freezes all our possibility
a shell to hard for him to crack thru.

Self protection of what he might make me feel
I long for what is real
But I only allow to dream to be seen by me.

they leave one after the past
why does this for me,
never ever last?

As though they come to a point
Where I am see through

My expectation of myself
Kills what I really am,
Rejecting any part of honest me.

letting time too precious pass by,
not allowing 'part 3' to be.

a tragic loss of experince
too affraid of what might be

*PLEASE COMMENT, TELL ME WHAT U THINK... ID LOVE 2 HEAR IT*