Tired/wired

There was a time when I was wired
And I bounced back and fourth from girl to girl
Getting dumped didn't matter to me
After all the saying goes
There is more fish in the sea
That is what I heard
That is what I thought
Looking for the best possible way to score
Thinking that was all the relationship was all about

I was constantly rushing through life
Always trying to act older
14,15,16,17, looking for a wife
I was in a race with no one
And still I was losing
Explain that one for me

As I look back I can not blame
It is me with all the shame
Some of the stunts I pulled
Sometimes I put the phone down as we talked
I daydreamed constantly
She even had a hard time keeping up with me as we walked

I believed other peoples lies
Only to find out they were not lies
They were rumors
Stories made up by desperate people
Because they were greedy and wanted me to go their way
But its too late now
We said our goodbyes

I hurt you, and you don't want me back
Even if you were to take me back
It would not be the same
Because you will never trust me again
I would suffer every day
Trying to apologize to you in every way
Only to have our friendship fade away
And for you to break it off with me

Times I wish I would have enjoyed
I didn't go to prom
I didn't go to my graduation
I missed out on several dances
I missed out on several chances
All because of my job
I would work early and I would work late
Almost no time for a date
A high school student with 2 jobs
Working 40 hours every week

All that work and very little play
But hey what can I say
I was just trying to have a few more dollars in my pocket
Grades were slipping
Friends were tripping
Yet I still worked more

Then I joined the navy at 17
A bit of a trouble maker and still naive
Messed up once more
And ever since that mistake
It was like I was scared

Now I am tired
I only hang out at my friends houses
Instead of chasing after blouses
Sometimes I would rather remember my memories
Then to make new ones
Because its not like it use to be
Its harder to make good ones

So when one happens
I write it down and enjoy it
Because if I don't
I will forget
This notebook is a picture album to me
A picture is a way of getting by until the next one
And that is what I do now
I just get by