Summer Days

I really enjoyed this poem. I could feel myself seeing/feeling/hearing as I read it. Nice job!!!

"The gentle rustling of nature
Is shown, by the flower's dance.
Each petal fluttering
In a garden of colors
With each warm, passing breeze."

Along with

"I lie down with the ground
As my pillow, watching
The sky reel from right to left.
Morphic clouds floating on blue,
Tell me their story.

As the Sun dips its shades
Into the ocean.
The sky slowly darkens
But night was lighted by moonshine
And the glitter of sprinkled stars."

Are my favorite stanzas. I love flowers and stars and I especially love poems about them. I love the brilliant and vibrant descriptions that you use. A masterpiece!!

"The brushing grass,
Beneath me."
^ I'd take away the comma after that sentence, though. It sort of gives it an awkard flow.

I loved the last line. I can relate to it specifically. Sometimes we get lost in the beauty of nature (which is ironic because sometimes people don't notice it enough) that we totally waste our day away focusing on our surroundings. Great poem.

either i like or I hate your last line. If you put it there for an intelligent reason, like lets say because it points out the flawed perception of value in our society, then good job. If you put it there for pretty much any other reason, I dislike it because I think it takes away from the message of the rest of your poem. No matter what, the last line definitely serves to change the meaning of the rest of the poem.

This is good I especially love the last part

"Damn another day wasted."

This seemed to add in a puch of spice and really juiced the whole poem up.

Good job!

--Sher