Unwanted

Poor spelling and poor grammar(or lack thereof) can in a lot of cases be an easy turn-off to reading your work..i read the title of another poem called "misunderstod" its really misunderstood* but this is just an example.. as in your other piece, the language leave a bit to be desired.. words flow pretty easy, but ur rhyme schemes are a bit overly simplistic.. this, coupled with the language you used, makes a bad combo.. im not saying your poetry is bad at all, because thats really just an opinion, but just tryin to help you grow if i can.. i cant stress the importance of vivid language,.. use only what u know(thats all u can do really in poetry), but strive for difference.

i feel like (our*) relationship has (travelled*) (too*) far

u could elaborate on this and explain how it's travelled.. also u could tie it up with a simile or a metaphor, comparing the relationship with something else that's travelled too far,.. and as a whole u could say why you got kicked out and all that good stuff..

is way more strong and way more real

more strong really should be stronger. there is a difference, however know when to use a modifier(-er) and know when to use (more) because more real IS right. hopefully im writing clear enough to be of any help,.. anyway.. using 'way', i think, makes it sound a bit more elementary then you need.. keep writing and try different techniques(metaphors/comparison, different rhyme schemes, different ideas, etc..) ne way.. pZ out =O)

Melanie,

Sorry, don't take it the wrong way, but dought should be spelt doubt.

The poem is good.

Best regards,

Steve

i can't really relatet to parents kicking you out..but lots of emotion...good work..keep it up