You wanted to leave?

They told me you'd gone to a better place-
Does that mean you’re happier without me?
They told me that you were still with me, all around-
Then why can't I fell you there?
All I feel is emptiness.

They told me that I must move on-
But there’s so much I never said.
They told me I must cry to soothe the pain-
But the pain is all I have left of you.
Did you want to leave?

They told me that you weren't coming back-
But still I feel I must hold on.
They said that you’re in my heart-
But in there it feels so cold.
Will I never see you again?

They said you were thinking of me-
But I saw your lifeless body. Free from all the pain.
They said you died peacefully-
But I read the file that they tried to hide.
Why did you do it?

That rusty gun I found?
Buried in the ground?
Was that the one that made blood pour?
The one that pulverized your jaw?
You wanted to leave me, here alone...

Well now they don't tell me to move on-
They don’t tell me to cry aloud.
They don't feed me bulls**t about a better place-
And you didn't die in peace.
You just couldn't handle the pain...

The pain I live with everyday.

M.H.