Dear Little Journal

Dear Little Journal,

I want to tell you a secret,
I want to say you won't tell,
But even if you do,
By that time I'll be in hell.

It wasn't always this way,
Life used to be fun.
I used to love to play outside,
To venture and have fun.

But it's all so vivid,
Like it was never real.
Just me and this knife,
Seems to be all I can feel.

These walls are so cold,
Turned white to red.
But that doesn't matter,
Inside I am already dead.

Mother is still blind,
She can't see my pain.
That's why it's useless,
To try to explain.

The others too,
Other family and friends.
I can't just tell them,
So this will never end.

Only you are my sanity,
Everything else is too hard to do,
Stay like this or change...
It's so hard to choose.

I gotta end here though,
I need to go for strike three,
But don't worry I'll be back.
Because no one can save me.