My Choice

I could choose to give up.
Every time this happens and I get in this state
I feel a little bit worse
And wonder once again
If it's really worth it.

Just gets harder every time
That tiny little bit more difficult.
And crying can only help to deal with so much
But it's all that I can do.
It's all I've ever done
And all I know.
And it's the way I deal with it
Every time.

Could do what some do.
Reach for a blade
They would call a sharpened bliss.
Take it to the surface and slice lightly
Every time I feel like this.
Or worse,
Take it to a vien
By neck or wrist to make it
The be all and end all.
No more pain.

Or I can see the damage.
The tears on my face.
Get it out of my system,
Push it away once again.
Smother my face
With another layer of make-up.
Get on with it.
Know that hope is lost
But just pray for it back.
This is my choice.

xXx