The Undying Fear

Here I am again sittin in the garden,
Weeds all around me everything has hardened,
My black eyes swelling up with tears,
My cold heart filling up with fears,
The black bird that stares at me,
Never goes away,
It reminds me of all my bad deeds,
And how my life is gray,
Happy on the outside,
Dieing deep within,
Rain runs down my cheeks,
As I cause another sin,
My blood as red as a fire truck,
My hair as black as coal,
Quite frankly I dont give a *beep*,
Maybe I dont want to die old,
I take the knife right next to me,
And slowly cut away,
I laugh as I bleed,
And pray that I wont stay,
Suicidal thoughts have filled my head,
Wishing one of these days id end up dead,
I look up to the sky,
Raise the knife up to my neck,
Then I slowly cry...