Step TWO

The pain and loneliness
all come flowing back
each and everyday
it grows to a greater amount
i long to hold you
to my skin again
to see the beautiful crimson doors
dripping crimson tears
i know what i must do
i walk to my dresser
open the first drawer
pull out your home
i open the door
i see you and your friends
gleaming and glinting in the light
first i pick up the knife
my hands shakes
i cant steady it
i walk to the trash can
"good bye forever"
i say softly
my voice quivering
i walk back to the dresser
pick up the box
i carry it to the trash can
i pick up all the razor blades
so tiny yet so strong
"good bye forever"
i repeat
my voice but a whisper
then i see the first one
to slice through my skin
memories come rushing back
i close my eyes
i see me on my bed
with the glass in hand
the first cut was weak
but as my anger grows
and my courage great-ins
the cuts become deeper
the blood flow heavier
i snap my eyes open
those times are gone
"good bye forever"
i say one last time
my voice strong and brave now
i drop it into the trash can
i force a smile
i want to reach in
pull them all out
and cuddle them in my arm
let them slice me open
let them make me bleed
but i know i cant
i get rid of the bag
i sit on my bed
i lay back and close me eyes
"it will be okay"
i tell myself silently
as i drift off to sleep
step two is over

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