I just sit there wanting to die... but instead all I do is cry
Sometimes these thoughts go threw my mind thoughts
that I despise but then again the thoughts that are constantly
on my worthless mind.
I wanna scream and shout punch the wall tear anything
in my way apart.. I swear anything you do seems to spark
me but you never realize it. I wish you could just see
the pain you give me but that pain just seems to please
you.
Maybe thats why I'm dying inside yet I never took the time
to realize. Sometimes I feel like taking something sharp to
my skin and letting the pretty red start to flow... but I always
tend to stop myself and say no...
I wonder why i don't smile I wonder why I don't laugh if
I start thinking about smiling or laughing..... those are
just flashbacks.... drip drip drip it's like a repeating rhythm
from my teary eyes....
I sit in the corner all alone going back again to my suicidal
thoughts.....then i start thinking and thinking my sobbing gets
harder... then I'm thinking which should be the one i shall die
with the knife the gun?
I start thinking about my body in this puddle full of blood
then this real smile on my face becomes... still the rhythm
of my sobs are going on and on
Then I have the gun to my head... ready and everything to die
then at that exact moment I'm telling myself I'm really not
ready to die... so i put it down.....
I wake up to another horror dream....wow how the
rhythm of the tears flow down my eyes....even though
I wake up they are really flowing from my eyes...
